a wise old man once said: you can please some of the people some of the time. and you can please — actually. i don’t remember what he said. i wasn’t paying attention. a far WISER man said:
Blow up your TV.
Throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try an’ find Jesus on your own
ah. johnny. i loves ya.
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
do the one about throwing the dead cat out the window!
That Prine…he sings so fine, and i’ve never heard him whine.
M@
it’s not throwing a dead cat out a window!! it’s Jehosaphat, the mongrel cat. and he jumped off the roof today. some say he fell, but i can tell. he did himself away. his eyes weren’t bright like they were the night we played checkers on the train. god bless his soul, he was a tootsie roll. but he’s a dead cat just the same.