there’s this thing at the boy’s school called “the circle” where, if they are “parent pickup” i have to drive around “the circle” to pick them up. it’s all very circular. they stand in a line outside the building, heavily guarded by teachers in S.W.A.T gear with pellet guns and wait for their turn to leave the inner circle. while they wait, they chat with others on “the wall” who face the same fate.

today, while waiting on “the wall” jacob was carrying on a very heated conversation with two boys on either side of him. he was in a bit of a sour mood today. i think he needs extra chores tonight. anyway, he told me all about it when he got in the car:

jake: did you see that little short black kid i was talking to?
me: yes.
jake: well, no you didn’t. cause he’s not black. he’s mexican. but he’s dark.
me: okay. do you have a point?
jake: i said, how old are you to him and he goes, nine. and i go, really? cause he’s so short.
me: okay.
kaileb: your hair looks nice today momma!!!!
me: really? thanks! everyone’s been telling me that all day, but i think it looks awful today i just can’t get it to do anything!
kaileb: ( overly dramatic fake crying, lays his head on the dash) me toooo, but i didn’t want to say anything.
me: uh. okay. thanks for that.
jacob: annnnnnyway. back to the story i was telling five minutes ago before your HAIR.
me and kaileb: sorry.
jake: so he said he was nine but i didn’t believe him and then the kid on the other side of me said, ‘you’re nine?’ and the kid said ‘yeah!’ and the other kid said, ‘well i’m ten!’ and the new kid, did you see him, mom?
me: yes?
jake: well then you saw that he was like, 12 feet tall.
me: he wasn’t 12 feet tall, jacob.
jake: but he was way taller than that other kid who was nine and he was only ten!

such are the things that excite my son.

me: well. maybe he’s just short for his age. like…what’s his name? tucker…taylor…tanner?
jake: tyler tanner?
me: yeah. like him. he’s in your grade but he looks short enough to be in kindergarten.
jake: haha. yeah. tyler, sometimes the other kids we tease to tyler, we run around and say, “hey tyler, don’t get short with us, tyler tanner!”

then i crashed into another car laughing. but AFTER that:

me: jacob, that’s not very nice. he can’t help being short.
jake: we don’t even know what it means, mom. “don’t get short with us, tyler tanner!!”
me: you walk around saying something and you don’t even know what it means?
jake: nope. but it’s funny. someone said it once and now we all say it.
me: it means angry. like, if someone snapped at you and got all pissy. you could say back to them, “look, don’t get short with me.” it’s sort of a double meaning word.
jake: oh. well, i didn’t make tyler tanner short and i didn’t make up the joke!
me: that doesn’t matter. it’s not nice to run around saying stuff like that just because everyone else is doing it. you know tyler is self conscious about his height!
jake: look, mom, don’t get short with me!