tonight was the event of our annual office christmas party. i don’t technically know if i’m allowed to call it a christmas party still. we looked warily at one another and said, “happy chr-holi-chri-kwanz-…i’m going to go with holiday! happy holidays!” and then the other person let out a sigh of relief. happy the decision was made for them. “yes! yes! happy holidays to you also!” i understand there’s a war on christmas and i don’t want to prove a traitor to either the atheists or the little baby jesus or the black zealots or the jews or the heretics or the elves or the santa pusher traditionalists. i’m very susceptible to guilt. and also very cowardly. i’m on whoever’s side i’m talking to at the moment. ask me in five minutes and my position is likely to have changed.

we had booze at our shindig which made it okay for me to stand on my desk wearing the lampshade from my employer’s desk on my head as he had purchased said booze. had he not wanted such goings on he would not have purchased said booze. it’s all very cause and effect, you see. i do only what is expected of me. i believe this will bode well for me come evaluation time as i said some very flattering things about his bald spot from that angle high above him on the desk. an employer likes one who notices small details. also, an employer likes one who is vocal and not mousy in an office setting. it shows intiative and assertiveness. employers look for this quality when promoting from within.