hey listen, i want to clear something up:

just because you come up with some witty new words that aren’t really words like “catastrophuck” and “blogviate” and “truthiness” and just because you can sit around on your high horse and talk about how everybody else is doing it wrong and you would do it so much better and you’ve got the self-satisified smug smirk of superiority down to a science, that doesn’t make you a political pundit worth listening to.

and just because you’re a politician of any particular flavor, pick one, who can send people off to war to be killed for any purpose whatsoever, pick one, or you’re on this side slinging mud and rocks at the other or that side throwing barbs at this one or you molest little boys or little girls in the privacy of your own bedroom and you hope and pray no one finds out about it but they do and then you find it’s convenient to blame it on drugs or alcohol or child abuse or a full moon, or just because you’re an elected official who also happens to be a closet bigot whose mouth runs away with you sometimes and you say really monumentally stupid things or you can’t keep it in your pants or in your wallet or out of your nose or you feel compelled to get behind the wheel after that 79th drink to plow into some building or tree or school children who just happen to get in your way or you’re just generally too stupid to know what’s good for you or the country — that doesn’t make you invincible or a representative of any particular state or country or anything really. it just makes you an embarrassment and a mockery of everything and anything. pick one.

and just because you’re 12 lbs, 3 oz with enough plastic implants to qualify more as tupperware than human and you travel in packs everywhere and you’ve got a miniature dog named tinkeranything that you carry in a purse that costs more than a small country and you find it fashionable to release your own sex tape that no one finds the least bit arousing except you and the distributor who stands to make a buck from the release and your idea of humanitarian efforts is sending underprivileged children in third world nations an autographed copy of your miniature tinkerdog making wee — that doesn’t make you a celebrity worthy of anyone’s time or attention.

and just because i have a blog, doesn’t make me a blogger.