i had a weird dream last night that i was in a restaurant with him and he started whining to me about his break up with cameron diaz. i remember being very bored with the conversation. i really wanted a piece of bread. it’s like all i could think about. the whole time he was talking it’s all that was going through my head. one still-warm piece of sourdough garlic bread with butter. and he’s going “blah blah blah and she just dumped me!”
but then he leaned over and tried to kiss me and i was like oh whoa. i don’t even like justin timberlake. although i heard he brought sexy back. which was nice of him. i guess. i didn’t even know it was missing.
still. i don’t want him kissing me. not even in my dreams. not even in his dreams.
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5 Responses to justin timberlake comes on to me
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
You and the Damn bread…Only if your readers knew about you and relationship with bread…does the significant other take a back seat to the bread too? don’t answer, it will just expose the depth of the illness…..lol,lol,lol, When you leave this earth, your casket will look like a loaf of it…if they cremate you, it will smell like someone baking bread…lol,lol….p.s. got the shirt in the mail, thanks,
hey! HEY! you just leave me the hell alone. i have a serious problem. i can’t help it. it’s either drink myself into an early grave or it’s bread. now which do you prefer? i thought so. i just THOUGHT so.
(on second thought, i could do both! BOTH! excuse me. i’ll be right back.)
All I could think of was that it’s a good job you hadn’t eaten the GARLIC bread after all.
I like the new look. I thought I’d come to wrong house at first, love the bottles.
i don’t know. garlic might have been a good deterrent.
thanks, i like the new look too. it only took me 24 million years to get the header and stuff the way i like it. i’m too picky. not even timberlake is good enough for me!