me: you need to clip the dog’s nails. rufus jumped on me today and broke the skin.
matt: uh huh
me: you need to use those clippers you had to buy.
matt: mm hmmn. where are they?
me: in the laundryroom, on the shelf, with their other supplies. where i told you i was going to put them. they haven’t even been opened yet.
matt: hey. i fixed the dryer yesterday!
me: oh please. how long are you planning to milk that one anyway?
matt: as long as i possibly can. i *am* the man.
me: well, i’ll give you five more minutes. you better hurry up. go.
matt: i see what this is. you’re princess leia and i’m hans solo. you’re making fun of the millennium falcon and i’m about to make the jump to hyperspace.
me: so you’re saying you don’t want to have sex tonight?
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
