the yeti and i have been having a difference of opinion lately about religion. mainly this: i think i’m god and he disagrees. the finer points of this argument entail things like, praying, bowing in reverence, begging for mercy and forgiveness, making sacrificial offerings and acknowledging my right as the giver and taker of life. i say yes, he says not just no, but no coupled with words i’m fairly certain were never included in any of the original psalms of solomon.
none of the lesser deities ever had to suffer these indignities. but as spiderman will undoubtedly tell you, with great power comes great responsibility.
yea, verily, the shepherd must lead the flock who hath gone astray to the green, green pastures of her bosom and into the fields of righteousness. but cripes, is it ever a chore when the flock is so hardheaded and stubborn!
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In the name of the Kimber, the Amish and the Holy Lasagna. Look, it’s just that I draw the line when you want me to go out and kill a goat as sacrifice. The kitchen table is not an altar. we eat there! I already built that boat and it hasn’t rained in 7 days. And if you were God I wouldn’t have been able to whup your butt at the wii. Amen.
M@
thou shalt not question nor doubt me, thy god.
and medammit, don’t lie. i outfished you. outboxed you. outbowled you. i OWNED you at the Wii. don’t pretend i didn’t. DON’T PRETEND!
and bring me my goat!