i’m confused about something. everywhere i go now i hear, “bad boys, ooh the bad boys. men! they’ll just break your heart. they’re such heartbreaking heartbreakers! they’ll take advantage of ya! they’ll rob ya blind! they’ll sex ya up and leave ya cryin’!”
where?? where are these men? in what area can they be found? i’m just curious. maybe it’s a cultural thing. maybe it’s only in very select areas of the country. not that i’m looking for them or anything, but seriously, the men i’ve been running into haven’t at all resembled those mythical bad boys. the men i’ve encountered have been needy, emotionally desperate, longing for love, aching to settle down — basically, they’ve been women. or the culturally stereotypical view of us, anyway.
yeah, okay, i’ve run smack into an asshole bad boy like a blind crow thwacking into the broadside of a barn before. i’m not denying their existence. but here’s the thing about those guys: they’re already settled down, married, with the love of their life. most of those guys are assholes, married assholes with kids, a mortgage and nothing to make them feel really, really alive. they live two lives. one a life of quiet desperation, playing the role of husband, father, accountant, little league coach, soulless drone. the other a life of secret thrill. high school re-visited. they play the role of flirting, drink-buying, kiss-stealing, heartbreaking bad boy.
but the single, available, believable guys? i’m not buying it. somebody explain that one to me.
okay and i have to put in the disclaimer about matt and how he’s totally not a needy emo goody gumdrop because, you know, he reads this and he might cry.
heh. but seriously, he’s all against what he calls the “pussification” of american boys. we picked this up, finally:
and ah, look, there’s jacob and kaileb reading it already:
hmm. i wonder why kaileb was wearing that coon hat and holding that gun? and was that a bottle rocket behind jacob’s ear? i don’t know why they were reading it on the trampoline, either. those things are dangerous…
this trend i can get behind. i like. i don’t want it to be a fad. the press is nice. seemingly, everyone is reading it and writing about it and — well, here i am on the same page with everybody else. not that we haven’t been pushing the concept all along…
i just hope it catches on. i hope they let our boys be boys.
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3 Responses to the boys of summer
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
Heh I gotta get you a gay friend. And it’s George Carlin that calls it the pussification of America. I just agree and parrot. I think that book is gonna be fun n trouble. I have already started collecting quarters for the battery. I’m going to make a battery big enough to run all of our fans. And then I’m going to shoot the battery with bottle rockets.
M@
p.s. I broke your heart. It was while you were at the Costco. I tried to tape it up but it looked wonky so I rushed out and bought a replacement that looked almost the same. Then I put antifreeze in your tea so that you would go almost blind and not notice the new heart that wasn’t quite right.
you do break my heart. nearly every single day. but i keep you around because you rock the wii mote on big brain academy. might come in handy someday.
I agree, let boys be boys!!