I had a stomach ache last night. Probably my cooking. Anyhow, I was also in a weird funk. While getting ready for bed I say to Matt, “you come here often?” in my most alluring and slightly creepy perv voice. He laughed me off. Later, I say, “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?” He laughed me off again. I’m now down with an aching tummy and a stinging sense of rejection.

But he rebounds.

He begins doing a little striptease for me. He rips off his shirt. He flexes his muscles. He looks at me with that, “Come hither” stare….I laugh and laugh and laugh. Then, I’m begging him to stop.

“PLEASe, PLEASE! I can’t take anymore. My stomach hurts. Don’t make me laugh anymore! I’ve got a tummy ache dammit!”

To which he so cleverly replies,

“Does your stomach hurt? Cause you’ve been doing the worm through my dreams all night.”

In case you don’t know what “The Worm” is….allow me:

I know, right? Dead Sexy. Too bad my tummy exploded from laughing so hard and I couldn’t even enjoy the sweet, sweet sexin’ that was sure to happen after that line.