Matt was treating me for an ingrown toenail. I know, it’s gross, but he really loves me and I just had a pedicure today so…
ANYWAY. My toe hurt so bad I couldn’t stand it. We’re talking white-hot, searing, eye-watering hurt here. I’m limping around and grimacing, being oh so very brave, I was. I didn’t complain or whine or even mention it. I just carried on with my tasks of the evening, cooking, cleaning, generally saving the universe from evil on an hourly basis. But still, I said nothing of my pain. It was really touching. But somehow, he notices anyway. He wants to take a look at it. He sterilizes my pedicure nail tool set thingamabobber and whips out his Surefire flashlight. It was all very MacGyver-y of him. So I’m sitting in the living room with my feet up on the ottoman, Matt is bending over my right foot with flashlight and nail file in hand — stabbing -STABBING my toe like there was no tomorrow. I’m moaning in excrutiating pain and Matt is making little man-grunting noises that sound like, “Shup! Me Man. Me Work. You woman. You hush.” But that could have been just my imagination. That’s when Jacob walked in.
“Uh, what are you guys doing?”
I can’t say anything. All I can do is stifle the scream of pain that wants to escape my mouth so therefore my fist stuffed halfway in my mouth is perfectly logical. I turn and look at him through wide, pained eyes.
Without missing a beat, however, Matt says,
“I’m punishing her for her behaviour.”
—-
Jacob sighed loudly and deliberately and escaped through the front door, barely looking over his shoulder to say, “Good luck with that.”
Ah, Matt. Warping our children’s minds in new and exciting ways each and every day. He’s *very* devoted. I’m wondering if that could be the reason Jacob is spending more and more time out of the house since he turned 15?
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2 Responses to Careful what you ask for…
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
Now that’s what I call love.
I think that 15 is the age when friend’s houses are cooler
I’m not having as much trouble with that as I am the fact that I’m sort of enjoying it.