We have moved to a new house. We had to give up the rental cause our landlords are going through a nasty divorce and we got swept up in the middle of it. We live in a small town so tongues have been wagging. We’re staying out of it.
The new house is lovely. It’s big and roomy and beautiful and I very much like it. Know what I don’t like? Packing. And unpacking. And cleaning. And not knowing where any damn thing is. Those things I could do without.
I’ve been experiencing a general and very unpleasant anxiety for a while now. Another thing I don’t like. I can’t put my finger on what it is, but it’s had me up early the last few mornings, walking the floor over it. There is a knot in my chest and I feel like things are spinning out of control. I stop, take inventory. Everything seems okay. But what if it’s not? What if I’m missing something?
I’ve got a long laundry list of things to do, sure. But since when is that new? It’s not. I came out of the womb with a heap of responsibility. So what’s going on? Why am I afraid and what’s causing this knot in my stomach? Not knowing is causing even MORE anxiety. I need a lifeline.
Or a get out of jail free card.
Or an actual shrink.
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5 Responses to There’s fire in my pants
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
First of all welcome to your new home. It won’t take very long to settle in and moving is a good way to have a clear out.
Have you lost weight too? Do you feel cold or very hot? I’m thinking thyroid, why not get a physical check up? I remember before I was diagnosed thinking that the rest of my life was just a long list of ‘things to be done’
Are the boys okay? If I’m worried and losing sleep nowadays it’s usually over the children!
Anji, you are just the sweetest thing alive.
Can it be all of the above? I’ve lost five lbs in about a week. I vacillate between very hot and freezing cold. Plus, the boys are just now hitting those terrible teen years where nothing I do is right and nothing they do is wrong. It’s frustrating me beyond words!
I have an appt in one hour, actually. That’s how stressed I’ve been about what might be going on. I hate doctors!
Thanks for your concern though, you’re a doll. <3
Hope it all went okay for you. Strange how I just happened by as you posted almost.
Take care of yourself.
Congrats on moving in a new place. I know the packing and unpacking sucks worse than forgetting which box contains the corkscrew, but at least the bad part’s over and you don’t have to worry about it anymore.
That realization that you’re not in control of 99% of your life…I understand how bad that can grate at the lining of your stomach. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Thanks, Anji. We’re experimenting and running tests. I am onto a new doc and so far, I very much like her. I’ll cross my fingers!
Stillie, thanks, we love it and now that the unpacking is all done, we love it even more. It’s getting better. ODAAT!