When they say, “Thanks for voting us best Blah blah blah” Who are they talking about? Who voted? When did they vote? What was the criteria for getting to vote? How come no one ever asked ME which laundromat in town is the best? How come no one ever bothered to get my take on the “Valley’s best seafood!”? What if I don’t agree at all with their pick of the best Veterinary doctors in the county?
I want to know why I’m never consulted about these decisions! I think people should know they are being deceived! They drive around, satisfied in the knowledge that the whole city got together and voted on their most favorite taco stand and it turns out I was never even asked!
And furthermore, what if I’m not the ONLY one they missed? What if it turns out that they missed a whole city block and those people are all driving around going, “Wait a minute, I don’t recall anyone asking ME what I would vote for in the contest for Seattle’s best plumber! What’s going on here!?” But then they’re embarrassed and they don’t want to seem like they’re out of the loop, so they pretend. They go along. They’re like, “Oh yeah. That place. I voted so hard for that place! That place has the BEST coffee ever! That’s like, the ONLY place I ever go.”
They just overcompensate because they’re embarrassed about not being asked and they want to be included and “in the know” so they fake it.
It’s a conspiracy! It’s a sham.
We should all write our congressmen.
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2 Responses to My Star Is On The Rise
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
I know that in january the shops here will be full of products voted best of 2010. How do they do that? If they can vote forwards in time perhaps we can look up the lottery results too?
That’s right! How do all those car companies decide who has the best chassis of 2010 when the year hasn’t even begun yet, much less ended?