I’m going through that special time in a teen’s life wherein “everything sucks” and also “my parents know nothing, nothing at all.” It’s a special time. I’ve already been through it once, playing the role of “teenager who knows everything” and now I’m reliving it. This time around, however, I’ve been recast as “stupid parent.” I liked the other version better, even with all its foibles and pitfalls. This version can suck an egg.
When the boys were growing up I thought it was peachy that they were so close in age. 13 Months apart meant two boys in diapers at the same time. They hit all the milestones together, making it convenient for me to only have to go through it all at once. Just get the potty training for both out of the way at the same time. Bottle weaning. Walking. Reading. Writing. Certainly very efficient.
But now that they’re both going through the “terrible teens” at the same time? Well, I’m beginning to have my doubts about this whole thing. Now I am reviled by two. Now I am twice as stupid and twice as mean and two times the shrew. Now I’m bouncing from bedroom to bedroom trying to put out fires and maintain civility.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t know that I have the strength to do this. I don’t know if I can keep it up. Right now I’m beginning to think this was all a terrible mistake. Is it too late for a do-over?
I suppose it is.
No matter. I’ll deal with it. But I won’t like it. No, not one little bit. Until it’s over. And then I’ll look back and say, “Awww, I miss when they were 15 and knew everything.”
Maybe. (Maybe not.) (Probably.)
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3 Responses to Life Through Their Eyes
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A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
Not to worry, Kimber. You’ll get smarter about the time they turn 25 or so. My dad did, at least to me….
Just remember this; in 25 to thirty years time it will be their turn.
They do come out well at the end of it – can you hang on in there for another couple of years?
(I don’t think that you will miss this stage at all)
These comments are truth! I apologize to my Dad every time we speak because now I realize how it *really* was back then. I think knowledge of their ignorance, their blind spot about this, makes it easier to deal with it.