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You never quite fully grasp the bullshit deal of parenthood until you get to the point in the game when your teenager is calling you a Nazi bitch for the tenth time in a week. And trust me, your precious snowflake has most definitely called you a Nazi bitch at SOME point in his or [...]
I admit I’ve ignored this place. I’ve let cobwebs build up in the corners and I’ve neglected to take care. It just seems like I’ve let so-called “real life” get in the way of coming here very often. I have a million and three drafts started, but even when I bring myself to consider posting [...]
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live a life of leisure. I try to imagine long sunning sessions at the beach with a drink (preferably something with an umbrella) and a good book. I envision long, lazy Sundays, shopping in quaint, quirky shops followed by lunch in some trendy brewery. It’s not [...]
A boy who went to school with my boys died this weekend. This is new for us. I’ve been blessed in that the most significant death the boys have had to deal with thus far was our beloved Roofie Doo. That was hard enough. Jacob found out about it first, but he didn’t really know [...]
My youngest turned 15 today. Here he is. Isn’t he handsome? I wish he could see what I see when I look at him. His vision is much different from mine and sadly, not at all accurate. This is how he used to look: He looks up at the camera as he’s speaking and then [...]
Dear World, I am afraid of you. Seriously, you scare me. I am afraid of what’s going on out there. This guy walked into a preschool in China and stabbed 28 kids and 3 adults. Seriously. What the fuck? This business has to stop. Sanity has to prevail eventually. Right? I mean. Right? People are [...]
I’m going through that special time in a teen’s life wherein “everything sucks” and also “my parents know nothing, nothing at all.” It’s a special time. I’ve already been through it once, playing the role of “teenager who knows everything” and now I’m reliving it. This time around, however, I’ve been recast as “stupid parent.” [...]
My Son the Man by Sharon Olds Suddenly his shoulders get a lot wider, the way Houdini would expand his body while people were putting him in chains. It seems no time since I would help him to put on his sleeper, guide his calves into the gold interior, zip him up and toss him [...]
So JD Salinger has died. Can’t say he didn’t have it coming, he was 91 years old. That’s a ripe old age and if you’ve got to go (and you do) you may as well go with 91 years under your belt. Stephen King wrote a couple short paragraphs on his passing over at his [...]
A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
