“Immense augmentation of your tool”

“Get a rod of colossal measurements”

“Bomb her womb from your huge canon!”

“Witness a miracle happening in your life”

“Don’t let her laugh at nights on your inability to satisfy”

“problems caused by ya tiny PE?”

I’m not sure what my PE is, but it’s probably too tiny and causing me problems. Sure. Why not?

“Dodn’t you just want to run away when cannot satisfy_your_gf?”

I didn’t say dodn’t. They said dodn’t.

“your expected xmas gift will be your increased PE!”

Xmas? Xmas is a long way a way. I would hope they have a better fulfillment center than that. There’s nothing worse than a sex shop that doesn’t fulfill.

“New gigantic rod is easy to get!”

“Don’t blame us for not telling you about this herbal revolution”

Yeah. Don’t blame them. They did everything they could. They won’t have that on their conscience.

“Our target is your happy life”

“You can also forget about losing your erection in the middle of sexual intercourse”

That sounds like a threat, actually. So does the one before it. “You can just forget about ever having sex again, mister. Our target is your happy life. It’s going down.”

“If you have a small penis and it bothers don’t lose heart.”

“Be not afraid to vary and change the life, after all, all becomes to the best.”

That sounds awfully philosophical for a Viagra pusher. More like a meditation than an email subject line.

and my favorite:

“It is well known that women”

Women what? What do women do that is so well known? I’d like to know!

But alas, the email will not yield easily its secrets. It’s shrouded in an air of mystery. Just like my tiny PE.

Seriously, bomb her womb??