Currently viewing the category:
"
"
"
my boyfriend is patriotic. not a little bit patriotic, but rabidly patriotic. before he moved in i didn’t have a single flag in or around the house. currently, i have about a dozen flags in and around the house. there’s a big one outside. just blowwwwin’ in the breeze. and to be fair, it’s not [...]
i had the brilliant idea to go camping this weekend. i thought to myself, “kimberley fae williams–” i always call myself that when talking to myself for that is my name. — “kimberley fae williams, you know what would be fun? it would be super duper fun! to pack up and go for a nice, [...]
tonight i had a house full of boys. five of them. youngest just turned 5 and the oldest just turned 12. let me tell you: you haven’t lived. my brother is getting married, right? right. i know! i’m surprised too. that someone would even want to share a car ride with him, much less a [...]
my brother and i sat on the porch last night talking about regular things. you know, my son’s basketball game. his upcoming nuptials. porn. we were bemoaning the fact that there’s a dearth of decent places in town to get quality adult entertainment unless you don’t mind shopping for it at the local convenience store [...]
they’re taking my father’s driver’s license next month. he has parkinson’s disease so little earthquakes rack his body and make life more fun than an epileptic in a window factory. this does not sit well with my father. not the parkinson’s disease, though he’s not happy about that either –but i mean the license taking [...]
one of the best things about being a parent is never having to make sense. when the boys come to me with monumental problems and questions and i don’t know the answer i can throw out a cliche and, to them, it’s not a cliche at all because they’ve probably never heard it. they scratch [...]
i’m one of those people who gets songs stuck in her head. and i don’t just get the song stuck in my head. i also sing the song. over and over again. i can’t help myself. i do it without knowing it. i’ll be peeling a potato or washing dishes and it’ll start out as [...]
today is my oldest son’s birthday. he carefully prepared a list, numbering in order of importance the items he wanted the most. i would have to take out a small loan to afford everything there. where’s the little ball of string and rubberbands? when i was a kid i was happy with a wad of [...]
this advert for nicole kidman’s new movie keeps running and the guy doing the voiceover continually says, “the interperter” and it’s bugging the piss out of me. i feel like a feckless ogre, making such a big deal about it. but come on. it’s grating on my last nerve. it could be because i’m tired [...]
A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
