"
somebody asked me yesterday: if you could go back and re-do one memory from your past, but do it right this time, which would you pick? i have lots. but i guess this is one: when i was about 10 years old i had a friend named angela who lived up the hill. a lot [...]
well, while i’m sitting here not sleeping, let me tell you about my date this weekend. since i’m sure you’re all just dying to know. we went to this ethiopian restaurant in seattle. we were supposed to go to this nice little pub in town that i chose, but he had another idea. which is [...]
i was invited to a party friday night. and like a good little party guest, i said, “can i bring anything?” “booze” “well. i mean, food or anything?” “yeah. booze-food.” well, but- there’s going to be a barbecue, right?” “yeah, barbecued booze.” he’s so mature. suddenly i felt as if i had been time-warped back [...]
there was a boy when i was in junior high school. he had the locks and tan skin. i would throw myself on my bed and sigh endlessly over him. and he knew it. he knew it and he took advantage of the knowledge. when we took trips with the church to our monthly youth [...]
today is my oldest son’s birthday. he carefully prepared a list, numbering in order of importance the items he wanted the most. i would have to take out a small loan to afford everything there. where’s the little ball of string and rubberbands? when i was a kid i was happy with a wad of [...]
when i was little i never really played with barbies and doll babies. in fact, they sort of freaked me right the heck out. i was scared of them. especially the porcelain ones with glass eyes. however, i did like to fill old prescription bottles with tic tacs and skittles and pretend like i had [...]
we went on this insane little trip when i was like 13 years old. and by little i mean of course 3000+ miles in a van from the west coast to the east. my parents hate to fly. they live in mortal fear. still to this day. but they love to travel. so summer vacations [...]
A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.

Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
One should always be drunk. That's all that matters; that's our one imperative need. So as not to feel Time's horrible burden; one which breaks your shoulders and bows you down, you must get drunk without cease.
But with what? With wine, poetry, or virtue as you choose. But get drunk.
And if, at some time, on steps of a palace, in the green grass of a ditch, in the bleak solitude of your room, you are waking and the drunkenness has already abated, ask the wind, the wave, the stars, the clock, all that which flees, all that which groans, all that which rolls, all that which sings, all that which speaks, ask them, what time it is; and the wind, the wave, the stars, the birds, and the clock, they will all reply:
"It is time to get drunk!
So that you may not be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk, get drunk, and never pause for rest! With wine, poetry, or virtue, as you choose!"
Charles Baudelaire













