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so this one time i went to london and while i was there i met the queen of england. she was okay, but a bit stodgy. i kept hoping she’d dish about prince charles and camilla parker whatever her name is, because i just know she thinks that tramp’s an ugly whore who isn’t worthy [...]
i went to san diego this past weekend. the rain followed. san diego is a lovely place to visit though. rain or no. i saw a man walk into a street sign. i was in the cab on the way to the airport sunday and i watched him walk down the sidewalk. he was right [...]
i was away this weekend on a business meeting. did you notice my absence, inter-web? did you long for the tender pressing of my keystrokes to lighten your darkest of days? i didn’t think so. nonetheless, i’ve returned. although for a bit there it was touch and go. on the return trip there was some [...]
if i only had about 5 more hours in a day, i might not be so frazzled. i’ve cut out eating and sleeping, thereby reclaiming some portion of time wasted in an average day. but surely there must be more to be had? i don’t see why, in the year 2005, we can put a [...]
and sadly, i’ve no tales of hammers in the road or drunken men in fruit of the looms. well, okay maybe there was a guy in boxer briefs who could be called a person of interest, but i shan’t repeat that here. just understand that he was not under the car at any point during [...]
the heat is broken in my room for some reason. there’s no joy. i bought a small space heater so as not to freeze until i can figure out what’s going on with it. this “small” heater puts out enough heat to heat an entire village in antarctica. i fully expect to die a horrible [...]
i am not a lucky traveler. i do alright by plane. most of the time. but travel by car for me is an endless litany of dead batteries, flat tires, and engine trouble. keys get locked in and construction delays me from my destination by hours. sometimes days. worse yet, are car accidents. minor and [...]
we decided to end our vacation with a bang and go up north to Vancouver, Canada for a few days. i used to go all the time because it’s just a hop from here, but since 9/11 i haven’t been because 2 hours at the border crossing just isn’t my idea of a happenin’ good [...]
my momma is one keerazy chick. we tooka my sista to the airport today. on the way home we saw one of those “adopt-a-highway” signs. this particular stretch of highway had been adopted by the Nudist Lake Campers. ooooer. dat’s nasty! i pointed it out to her. she’s all like, “i’d like to see that! [...]
the guy next to me on the plane was wearing a digital spongebob watch. he looked about 45. so i was wondering if he just really likes spongebob or if his kids maybe bought it for him and he’s wearing it for them. which is awfully sweet. i once wore a macaroni necklace to work [...]
A Woman's Manifesto
Because a woman’s work is never done.
and is underpaid, or unpaid, or boring, or repetitious,
and we’re the first to get fired,
and what we look like is more important than what we do.
And if we get raped its our fault
and if we get beaten we must have provoked it
and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches
and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos
and if we don’t we’re frigid
and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a real man
and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic or pushy
and if we expect childcare we’re selfish
and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and un-feminine
and if we don’t we’re typical weak females
and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man
and if we don’t we’re unnatural
and because we still can’t get an adequate, safe contraceptive, but men can walk on the moon
and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion
and for lots and lots of other reasons
we are part of the women’s liberation movement.- Joyce Stevens, International Woman’s Day, 1975.
Man Vs. Heart Attack
I am somewhat worried about the dude on Man v Food. He isn’t looking so good these days and putting that food away like that can’t be good for him.
