Well, it’s just difficult to talk about because it ended tragically. We dated off and on for a few months, always he wore the cone. I never mentioned it. Then I discovered one day that he was from an alien race and the cone was a permanent fixture of his race. And then. One day. We had a particularly bad rainstorm. We were caught out in it. No shelter in sight.

He drowned.

Tragic. Tragic.

The leader of his planet sent me a holographic message a few months later. Told me they all pulled up roots and went home. They don’t have rain on their planet. I was all like, look, I don’t want to get involved. I was only dating him because I couldn’t figure out a tactful way to end it. But I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I was all, “Ohhh the horror! The horror! I’ll never love again!”

In some ways it is very beneficial to date outside your species.

You know, I used to look at dogs and think they had it made. Man, if I could be a dog, that would be the life. All they do is lay around the house and sleep until someone feeds them and then they get up, eat, go outside to do their business and come back inside to sleep some more. What could be better?

Well, it turns out a lot could be better. A whole lot. A dog’s life blows! I know cause I’ve been confined to bed rest and there is nothing worse. I mean NOTHING. You lay in bed. Someone brings you food. You hobble off to the bathroom occasionally. You get back in bed. You find there is nothing better to do than sleep. The internet gets boring after the first day. Your will to live begins to seep away after the second. How do dogs do it? I’ll never know!

PLUS! I slept right through Anji’s challenge! I’m TERRIBLE! I’ve never been tagged before. It’s dreadfully exciting!

So here you go, here’s six random things about me:

1) I was runner up in the Junior Miss South Carolina Pageant. (clearly I was robbed)

2) I was in a commercial while in college. For insurance. I think. I can’t remember now.

3) I am deathly afraid of clowns, like most people. But I am also afraid of monkeys. And dolls.

4) I once met Country music star, Kenny Rogers in a truck stop with my dad when I was six years old.

5) I was once arrested for domestic violence…but it was self defense! And he soooo had it coming.

6) I love cabbage so much that when I found a twenty dollar bill on my way home from school I gave it to my parents to buy me as much cabbage as they could with it. Being in the first grade I didn’t realize that you could buy way more than a mere three heads of cabbage with twenty dollars…especially way back then. To this day when I eat cabbage at my mom and dad’s house I make sure to remark, “This is good, but it’s still not $20 worth of cabbage good. Keep it comin.”

And now, the rules:

• Link to the person who tagged you.

• Post the rules on your blog.

• Write six random things about yourself.

• Tag six random people by linking to their blogs.

• Let each of the six know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment (on their blogs).

• Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

The victims …

My Danny

My Jacob

and…uh…that’s it. Cause, I doubt Trouble would do it and I don’t know anyone else who blogs or hasn’t already been tagged. I know. It’s a crying shame. : \