Things Matt has decided count as a date: 1) Trip to Home Depot for moving boxes. 2) The dog park. 3) Department store. 4) Geocaching. (Okay, that one was actually fun.) 5) The transfer station. 6) My doctor’s appt. 7) The hospital E.R. I’m not kidding. I can’t make this stuff up. It’s real, people.

I forgive Matt for calling me a dick. Only because he made up for it tonight by telling me sweet words. Okay, so I’m a sucker for a sexy line, but what can I do? The sweet words only came up because we were having a …well, a disagreement? I guess? It was one of [...]

I love that Matt is at his comedic best when I have to pee really, really bad and when I announce this his response is always — always to make me laugh harder, until I’m literally racing down the hall in a frenzy. I love that about him.

Matt was treating me for an ingrown toenail. I know, it’s gross, but he really loves me and I just had a pedicure today so… ANYWAY. My toe hurt so bad I couldn’t stand it. We’re talking white-hot, searing, eye-watering hurt here. I’m limping around and grimacing, being oh so very brave, I was. I [...]

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a good birthday, as birthdays go. Matt took me for a romantic weekend in the mountains. He rented the cabin, handled all the details, the works. It was loverly. I, however, forgot my camera so there won’t be any photographic evidence of the beauty of the joint. I’ll just [...]

Today Kimbuhley is chewing very slowly the small bites of crow she is forced to eat.  I took the dusty-but-trusty Civic in to the dealership to have the 80k mile service and an oil change.  It’s a bit past 80k, but who’s counting?  I was near certain that this time I would need a brake [...]

I had a stomach ache last night. Probably my cooking. Anyhow, I was also in a weird funk. While getting ready for bed I say to Matt, “you come here often?” in my most alluring and slightly creepy perv voice. He laughed me off. Later, I say, “If I said you had a beautiful body [...]

Oh look, what do we have here? Funny that I would stumble on this…at this particular point in time.

Oh my god! And I almost forgot. This also happened: Matt was surfing the web and he came across some website that talked about robot hookers. Seriously. They’re like animatronic blow up dolls and men have sex with them. So there were some questions on this site. Does that constitute cheating? What if you walked [...]

This morning I woke up twice. I first woke up to Matt getting dressed and letting the dogs out. He does this quietly. About as quietly as a hippo all hopped up on meth goes running through a china shop. In the deadening silence I fell back into my strange, beautifully frightening dream in which [...]